Boomer Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse

OK, so one of the most common characteristics of Single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.

Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.

Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.

So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?

MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE

It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.

You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.

ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS

This is your community, your tribe. You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource. These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular. Sometimes new people attend their events. Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.

Do attend such events, just not exclusively.

SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS

Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off. St. Patrick’s Day. Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties. Art Gallery openings. Scotch Tastings. Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.

Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Boomer Dating Expert

Boomer Dating Love and Sex - Baby Boomer Singles Desire a Different Kind of Love Relationship Now, Not Like Father Knows Best

I’m recently back now in the OC from presenting 2 workshops 2 hrs each covering different phases of online dating at a annual Singles Conference in Las Vegas. Most of the singles there were 40 years old and older, ergo most were of the Baby Boomer generation. Some GenX singles. The workshops addressed different aspect of winning at Internet Dating and being successful at dating online, while using safety and precaution. The workshops themselves were very interactive, which was just great because that meant that the participants really got their money’s worth in terms of their investment of time and moola in attending. That is always a good thing for the conference organizers and their being happy and delighted with the invited guest speakers.

Well, one of the themes which emerged in both sessions as well as was point of conversation then at lunchtime was that the single Boomers at this stage in life, after 50 years old pretty much - they want a different kind of relationship than when they were 20 somethings or even early 30s somethings.

When that is the case, and you are dating, after you likely already had children and now own a small house, a townhouse, or a condo, those are important things to discuss in the date 3-5+. Start contemplating and articulating, What do you want? Now that you have already had kids… what do you want now in a relationship? The Boomer generation grew up watching the now classic TV show, "Father Knows Best." Well, their marriage model no longer rings true for this generation for what they want in a life partner or marriage relationship after 50 years old.

Not only are these important things and questions to ask your date once you first determine whether or not there even is the all-important imperative of In-Person Chemistry (not just the fantasy from Internet Dating Email exchanges). These are also important questions to pose to yourself! And Dating is the laboratory for vetting out the truth, testing, and refining.

Until you are well-matched for LIFE partnership… which may or may not at your age result in marriage

Love and Sex After 50, Baby Boomer Dating Tip Boomer Dating Tip: Expand Your Social Circle While Traveling

Awhile back at my main blog, I was recommend to single baby boomers that as a group of singles, they HAD to make a particularly concerted effort to expand their social circles. The reality is, the single baby boomers I have worked with and interviewed often have fairly small social circles. Their social circles are in something of a rut. If you are ever going to meet a NEW additional single boomer to love, than you must make a concerted effort. You canNOT just sit back on your laurels and wait for New Love to Come to You.

When I was in Sales at the Oracle Corporation in Silicon Valley, whose sales team is rather notorious in the software sales industry, “I eat my own dog food.” (arf arf!)

What that means is I am walking the walk. I am not just suggesting something without actually field research testing and vetting my advise. Because as a single boomer lady who has been widowed (I prefer to cite it that way so that it is not my perpetual IDENTITY) , honey, I am right in there with you and your dating experience.

So, here I am in Southern California in The OC for the Memorial Day Weekend. I am visiting with family, which getting the 5 of us together is rare, the 6 of together all at once takes an act of God (Wedding or a Funeral). So, to me, our group altogether time is very precious and I guard it like some parents guard their time with their children (totally understandable).

However, while I travel, I do look to see if there are people with whom I can deepen the relationship with some Face Time (I feel so 80s when I say that, but it even more a relevant term in the 21st c with all the Social Media relationships we have.). I have 2 women from college and a lady from an internet class I am taking. The latter is the one I am most hoping and putting the steps in place that we will meet.

And you’re laughing wondering what that has to do with dating.

Well, two things.

1st: FORM THE HABIT
It's all about the HABIT I am forming. Make the effort all the time as my NORMAL mode of operandi.

2nd: Women Do It More Often

You see, women are more likely to fix singles up than men are. Additionally, I am in the greater REGION of where I now live, more so than when I lived in Northern California. So if I actually met someone around here... and we clicked... Well, then we could actually fairly reasonably date and form a relationship. In fact although you might not be thinking it, NorCal to SoCal is a lot further than The OC is to Vegas.

Here is an area which I visit, mmm, like once a month or so on average. So, it is worth my sowing seed here for expanding my social circle and dating sphere to here as well.

One couple, it was the man who came from Central CA to the SF Bay Area regularly. He kept his eyes open when he traveled and pursued a lady in San Francisco. They married 2 years ago and just had their first child together last Summer. … Just so you know this DOES work and produce the results which you want.

In the mean time…

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Baby Boomer Dating Expert